Angels in the Airfield

Bush just announced that these photos, circulating around cyberspace, are proof of his direct line to the Almighty. "God has clearly given me a mandate, which will now become my retroactive rationale for war."
He quickly added, while walking across the White House lawn:
"We don't torture!"

This comes after a Press Conference during which White House Press Secretary Scott McLellan confirmed that yes, Laura Bush did in fact have an image of the Virgin Mary on her french toast this morning. "What this means to the American people is that they can have full confidence in the Lord's ability to conduct this ongoing investigation," He said to the press corps.

(On behalf of the well-paid staff here at Lose the Noose, we wish to thank the Fallujah Balloon Racing Club for their contributions to this story)